Hey you,

I hate it when my thoughts spiral and become my enemy.

So the upcoming year will be a very busy one for me. I need to finish my Master’s thesis, move out of my cheap student dorm, and get a job to stay in Germany.

Then I started thinking: what if I messed up?

That thought led to another: What would happen if I had no degree, home, and job by then?

Before I knew it, my life was over. It’d be all for naught.

I began planning things out of panic. I made rash decisions. I thought I’d rather prepare for disasters than be surprised by them.

Next year isn’t even here, but I was already worn out.

Thinking of worst-case scenarios is literally the worst. But I also realize it shows me something.

It shows how much I care about those things.

I won’t waste my time on them if they aren’t important to me. They matter so much that if I don’t achieve the desired goals, it will hurt. Badly.

Preparing for worst-case scenarios also shows me that:

• They oddly satisfy my need for perfectionism. The more I plan meticulously, the more things I feel I’ve accomplished.
• I don’t trust the world.

Despite these revelations, I don’t want to have my thoughts spiral again. My day can get very gloomy, and I can’t even do my routine.

Here’s what I’ve been doing to not let some unforeseeable future shape my entire present:

🐜 Achieve micro-goals

Predicting the future as much as possible is how I reclaim control of the situations I make up in my head. I do it so that the pain hurts less.

Yet, it wears me out too.

Instead, I begin to set micro-goals to feel less overwhelmed. They can be as simple as writing 3 more newsletter posts and creating an educational Instagram Reel by the end of the month.

The point isn’t to exert more control or waste energy doing seemingly insignificant stuff. It’s about taking pride in even the smallest victories and reducing self-criticism when things don’t go as planned.

🚶‍♀️ Removing myself temporarily from potential stressors

Many online communities connect Indonesians everywhere and provide helpful information about Germany. They make us feel less alone, especially in times of difficulty and distress.

But it can be overwhelming to continuously follow the posts from members who are going through hard times. Someone in Hamburg had a dispute with their landlord, while another in Jakarta was stressed out about visa rejection. So on.

It’s like following the news to stay up-to-date, only to feel more stressed.

Before it gets too much, I take a short break from the groups to prioritize peace in my mind.

✍️ Channel those thoughts

Writing always makes me feel better. I feel lighter inside after getting my thoughts out of my head and onto the screen of my laptop.

So find a way to channel your negative emotions into something constructive. Break free before you get sucked into the black hole of spiraling thoughts.

Disclaimer: Everything I’ve expressed here comes from my personal experience. I never claim to be an expert. Please consult a licensed medical professional if you or your loved ones need help.

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🌱 Good to know

​When People See the Worst in You: Perceptions Aren’t Always Accurate​

Speaking of the worst, what about when other people assume the worst about us? There’s a chance they’re projecting some parts of themselves. To figure that out, we need to answer only three simple questions. 🤫

​15 Minute Super Deep Meditation Music: Relax Mind Body, Inner Peace, Relaxing Music, ☯2563B​

Meditation is a healthy way to calm the mind, and the good news is that it doesn’t have to take long. This 15-minute YouTube video by Yellow Brick Cinema, one of the world’s largest YouTube channels for relaxing music, is a calming meditation that eases your soul. 🧘‍♀️

​You are Enough​

I also have self-doubt and put pressure on myself to reach my life goals, or else I’ll be deemed a failure. This reminder is a gentle nudge to avoid letting what I’ve been working on divert my attention away from what I’ve achieved. 😌

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👀 On the side

​These dating myths turn out to be nonsense​

I had dating notions I held on to for years, thanks to all the romance books and movies I consumed. Then I began dating, and it took me almost two years to realize that they were unfounded myths. 🤦‍♀️

​Living abroad is hard​

Everything was thrilling at first. Totally different place and people. After a while, the realities of life abroad kick in, and these challenges make it no longer Instagrammable. 📸

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Life as an 🇮🇩 in 🇩🇪

I’ve started layering as Jena gets colder.

Earlier this week, I went to Berlin to renew my passport. The process took about 30 minutes, and I was super satisfied with the picture. 😊

I’ve also started putting up graphic carousels on Instagram. They’re pearls of wisdom taken from my most recent newsletter and blog entries.

Putting together content is a real passion project! I’m delighted to be where I can express myself authentically.

I hope you enjoy this letter. See you at the next one. 💕

Cheers,

Devi